A facebook friend wondered recently why so many people were being so vocal about who they would be voting for in Tuesday’s election.  I have definitely been one of those people, and I’ve spent a lot of time considering what has compelled me to share.

I certainly believed, and still believe, that Kamala Harris would have been an amazing Commander in Chief.  I am proud of how she conducted her campaign and communicated with warmth, enthusiasm, positivity, and empathy while also putting forth cogent plans for the betterment of our country and calmly pushing back on the explicit and implicit idea that a woman just doesn’t have what it takes to lead.  I am also so proud of the grace and dignity with which she conceded defeat and the hope she offered her supporters while doing so.

So those are all reasons why I’ve been “loud” about where I stand.  But there’s a bigger reason that I’ve been trying to find the right words and tone to convey.  I have been praying for grace, humility, and wisdom, and I ask for grace from anyone who reads this.

The election results in 2016 were shocking to me.  And humbling.  I had to examine my attitudes and assumptions that I didn’t even know I had made about some things. I hadn’t done the work to try to understand where other people were hurting in ways I wasn’t experiencing.  And so I tried to correct that by listening to voices I hadn’t made the effort to hear before.

This time around, I am still surprised, and I also hurt.  I feel pain for women, and the minority and LGBTQ communities.  And a general sadness at the idea that a certain coarseness of discourse has “won.” I know, with every fiber of my being that while over half of the country endorsed Donald Trump with their vote, they do not necessarily approve of some of his behavior or the words he has said, or the fact that he has used and abused women, or the constant name calling and dehumanizing rhetoric. I truly believe that.  I care about, love, and respect many people who I know voted differently from me, and I feel like I know their hearts. 

But I also know women who are so sad and confused right now--women who have literally been “grabbed by the…” and who see now that a man who said those words and who has been held criminally liable for sexual assault by a jury of his peers has been elected to the highest office in our country. And women who have held their friends as they cry after being mistreated or assaulted by men.  And women who have felt dismissed and threatened by men, told “it’s not that big of a deal….”.  *I* have definitely been  dismissed and felt threatened by men who had power over me. And so it doesn’t feel good to know that a man who has been allowed to behave badly for years not only gets away with it, but is entrusted with the future of our country even as he continues to exhibit behavior that demeans his opponents and people groups.

I’m not here to rehash all of this or argue about if character matters as long as the policy seems good (although I think it absolutely does).  I’m here to ask for something that I have no real right to ask, but I’m feeling brave.  And I’m feeling resolved.  And I’m feeling calm—in this moment.

No matter how you cast your vote, will you please speak up?  Will you pay attention to the things that are said and even celebrated?  Will you not just look away and ignore it?  Will you call it out when it’s racist or misogynistic or even just unkind? I believe that our votes are endorsements.  Maybe you feel that it’s nothing personal—just policy.  However, if you don’t speak up about the character and moral issues, the silence sounds really loud and, right or wrong, it feels personal, especially from my fellow Christians and even more so if you hold a position of leadership within a local church body.

We do need to come together as a country.  We need to see each other as humans first, and I think we are all going to have to put forth more effort than we might think we should have to for the time being, which means, perhaps, going the extra mile to speak kindly or to push back or seek clarification when something questionable is said, even just in our conversations with our families, friends, and colleagues. We can do these things even as we hope and pray for the best for our country and its leaders, new and old.