adventures in being still.

It's not supposed to look like this.

I knew there was a problem as soon as it happened.  I had been tugging a mattress from its position while assisting a client at The Sharing Shed when the handle on which I'd been pulling snapped, sending me flying backwards onto the concrete floor.  I landed on my outstretched left hand and felt the crush of said wrist.  I immediately scrambled up, my left arm held instinctively in the air, showing an off-putting concavity to the normally straight line of my wrist.  My former ER nurse's mind knew it was bad.  I hurriedly walked over to where my phone sat, grabbing it up before collapsing back onto the closest couch while speed-dialing my sports medicine specialist husband.  (of note--amazing to have such a nice couch on which to fall, so thank you to whichever generous person donated it!  It's also not lost on me that it's pretty cool to be able to call my very-appropriately connected hubs in this situation and let him do all the pertinent decision making.) In short order, he was on his way to collect me.  In the meantime, our church's Family Minister, DJ, took over with our client and my friend Tanja drove up with her boys, who were there to serve.  She found me some ice to wrap around my rapidly swelling joint and then held it there, because by that time I was unable to move it from a vertical position.  Mark arrived, eyed my wrist and my now tear-filled face, and bundled me into the car as DJ offered to drive our two boys, who were there serving, home when they were done.

Doesn't do justice to the swelling.

It was a long ride to the ER, as every bump and curve caused more pain in the arm I was still holding upright.  Thankfully, the wait in the ER wasn't too long.  In short order, an xray confirmed what we'd known, that it was broken.  Unfortunately, it wasn't a clean break; I had smashed the "distal end of my radius" as well as breaking off the tip of the ulna.  I mean, why do it if not really well right? (eye-roll)  A very kind nurse brought me more ice and my first ever percocet while Mark was frantically texting his colleagues who specialize in hand and wrist stuff.  (again, so grateful for this!)  He was able to reach one who would actually be in the same office space with Mark the next day and was able to see me to try the least invasive method of reducing (pushing/pulling the misplaced bones back into the right spots) my fractures.  A tech came in to apply a splint for the night that would offer support and hopefully some comfort for my broken wrist.

And then we were on the way home, and I started making calls--to my friend who, along with her hubs, had driven up to retrieve my van and who I asked to drive me to my appointment the next morning, and to my parents who were anxiously waiting to hear from me after being updated by Mark via text.

I was met at home by my three wide-eyed and curious kids.  Ryne stated his intention to sleep with me while Maddie had made me a sweet card. But she also told me, "I'm just really glad it wasn't me (who broke her arm)."  Oh, my girl. (shaking my head)  And Owen, my oldest, was even more generous than usual with his hugs and cheek kisses.

After a long night of squirming on the couch, morning came.  My kids are pretty self-sufficient.  (I can't imagine how different this would look if they were still clingy toddlers!)  So, they got their breakfast while I made my coffee and laboriously changed my clothes.  I delegated my other morning "chores" to the kids while I fussed about what to do with my hair.  I finally asked Maddie to help, and she did a passable job with the flatiron.

But then she wondered what we were going to do about her own hair, which I typically braid for her each morning.  Knowing my friend Dorinda would be coming to take me to the doctor, I suggested that Maddie ask her for help.  

I think it turned out pretty well, which could be problematic in the future when Maddie comes to me for help and says, "but that doesn't look like when Ms. Dorinda did it...."

We made it to the doctor's office, and after getting my wrist injected with lidocaine, the surgeon was able to get things back in place.  In the pictures at left, you can see on the top one where my two arm bones are not at the same level and there's a shadowy line through the top of the bone on the right.  In the lower one, even though my hand is at an angle, things are much more matched up.  And, almost as soon as the doctor manipulated the bones into place, I felt relief from  much of my discomfort.  Truly, the worst part of the whole experience was when the very sweet receptionist asked me if Dorinda, who is my age, was my daughter.  Granted. I hadn't slept the night before....but, OUCH!

So, now is when, for me, the hardest part actually begins.  I like to take care of things, and for the next couple weeks, I literally cannot do that.  For one thing, it hurts.  But more importantly, I could mess things up and necessitate surgery.  So no working out, and I had to pull out of a relay race I was going to do with some friends.  But I can already feel myself surrendering.  I'm embracing asking my kids to do all the things I have previously done myself because it's easier than nagging or because I want it done "the right way"  (my way....).  I'm letting myself need my husband.  I mean, I always do, but I often blow through all of the stuff that needs doing without allowing him be involved.  I already feel like we are more of a team because right now, I'm forced to rely on him, and he's more than meeting our family's needs.  I'm grateful for the opportunity to watch him care for us.  And I haven't yet agonized (too much) about asking friends for help.  Even in the haze of pain on Wednesday night, I knew that we had people.  My worried boys didn't just get a ride home on Wednesday evening, DJ stopped and got ice cream with them.  When my friend stopped to pick up my van keys from our house, she lovingly but firmly told Maddie that "even if your mom isn't home by 9:30, you still have to go to bed."  So, as I sit here with my bum arm elevated and sitting on a bag of frozen corn while typing one-handed, I am not thrilled about my circumstances, but I am grateful for the many blessings these past few days have brought--the greatest being the love and support from our family, co-workers, neighbors, friends, and church family that reassures me that we are not alone.